And so...

I am embarrassed by the lack of any content whatsoever on the blog. There has been some upheaval in my personal life, which I/we shall share shortly.

Meanwhile, Merry Christmas to you and yours. May the day be bright and happy and full of cheer.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sensitive/The diet you MUST try

So, I'm reading my Facebook this morning, and not for the first time, I get a sense that someone is advocating that _everyone_ cut out something that made _them_ feel bad. Not a day goes by (except the rare day that I don't have any online time at all) that I don't see something similar. Everyone needs to eat low carb/vegetarian/paleo. Everyone needs to quit caffeine, quit smoking, take up a gentle exercise routine but don't overdo it. Everyone should be avoiding this med/that med/pain meds/all meds. Everyone should be taking this med, that med, this herb, that illegal substance, because it really helps.

I'm not knocking the help it gives the one person, but I am knocking the armchair physician-ing. I'm also knocking a one-size-fits-all approach to chronic pain that a lot of actual physicians have. Patients, over time, become most familiar with their own care. We elimination diet and figure out what foods we shouldn't and can't eat and what makes us feel better and worse. After more than a decade with a chronic pain syndrome, I've tried a lot of medications and therapies and I have an idea of what will work in the long term and what won't.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that I thing it's important to remember two things as someone living with chronic intractable pain:

1. No experience is unique. You are not alone, and whatever your body is doing, the answer to the question "does/is anyone else..." Is yes. Someone else is or had gone through the same thing. So skip that part and instead ask what you really want to ask. "What's a caffeine sensitive girl to do for that 2:00 feeling?"

2. Everyone's experience is individual. Don't judge. Don't assume that every user of a med/food will have your experience with that med/food. Some will, but many will have better success with a different combination of diet/exercise/meds than you. Sharing an experience is great, don't mistake me (oh, I also had an awful time on med y, ask your doc about med q, it was much better for me at least). But running roughshod over someone else's medical decisions and care is not OK.

posted from Bloggeroid

Drowning

Yesterday started off well. It was my actual day off, as opposed to the previous two. Thursday I left work early to take care of a child-related emergency, and Friday I had to take off to try to take care of after school child care. That is taken care of in a haphazard, stopgap sense, but I need a longer term solution. I'll be trying to contact the area boys' and girls' clubs Tuesday, but I think the one in our town has closed, and who else takes teenagers after school?

Anyway, so yesterday, we did finally get a temporary solution/babysitter in place, and that solved, we took a road trip to Foley, AL, to eat at Lambert's and do some holiday shopping. We found some really cute things and didn't spend much, so it was a good day - until D found a replica sword he wanted, with birthday money he doesn't have yet. Total meltdown. Day over.

Then, when I got home... I'm trying to rehab my defaulted student loans at an amount I can pay, so I can do something at least. Got a letter last night basically rejecting all the evidence I had sent them, which was everything I had. They want bills... I'm paying bills that aren't in my name, do I need to have my SO draw up agreements, etc., that say I'm responsible for x share of utilities, car insurance, etc.? They're all in his name, but I pay some of them, so I don't know what submitting the actual bills to the department of education will do, but meanwhile, they're saying I need to pay an amount that's about 1/3 of my take-home (including child support) and just not possible.

I'm trying to catch up and do better, but it seems like no matter what I do, more stuff piles on. I need help, and Chris is very supportive, but there just doesn't seem to be help that doesn't require sacrificing the whole of the life I've tried to create. I'm very anxious and afraid all the time.

posted from Bloggeroid

Missing posts

I had been using Bloggeroid to create posts, but it has now lost several on phone and tablet that I cannot retrieve. So I do not think I will be continuing to use Bloggeroid. I don't like the Blogger interface, either, and it also gives me errors when I try to publish posts, but those are recoverable and there's a second step that will push them through.

My chromebook also does not get along with the web blogger interface. Time to migrate this blog? Or is there a better Android app for interfacing with blogger without all the errors and lost posts?

More book reviews

I just finished Allegiant, by Veronica Roth, yesterday. I've heard a lot of people say they were disappointed by the ending of the Divergent series or that they felt it was too much a rip-off of the last Hunger Games book. I felt, however, that Ms. Roth retained her own voice and story to the end and did a very good job with the book. My only major issue with the book, honestly, is that there is as lack of differentiation between the inner "voices" of Tris and Tobias-sometimes I'd have to pay careful attention or I'd lose track of whose chapter it was, then get a little confused by something because I'd think I was reading about the other one, then something would be said or done that would fox that impression. Otherwise, if you're into fast-paced, gripping teen reads, you could definitely do worse than the Divergent trilogy. Read it before the movie hits theaters this spring.

So today I started Raising my Rainbow, by Lori Duron. I'm about a fifth of the way through already. I'm trying not to judge, but I'm wincing a lot right now at some of the "compromises" they're making. I'm just getting to the part where, and I'm sure this is not much of a spoiler since if you want to read the book you'll do enough research to find this much out first anyway, the author starts her blog. I'm sure from the little bit I've read so far that the Durons are great parents who have only become more accepting over time. Also, Duron is a great name. It sounds like Klingon nobility. Seriously.

Oh, OK, so I'm doing my part to keep Orange is the New Black on the bestseller list, too. I'm not even sure what to say about that one, except forget everything you watched on Netflix and prepare for a real, intensely personal look at real women in the real federal prison system. Very worth your time. Also learn how to make prison cheesecake!

Happy November,
Jack

It's Witchcraft... Or maybe it's not

I've had a lot of trouble defining myself on a spiritual and religious level in the last several years. I'm loosely attached to a Pagan group in the area, and depending on the day, I might describe myself as an atheist Pagan, a Pagan skeptic, a just-plain-Skeptic, or even a hard, big-a Atheist. Part of me wants to believe in something, in a magic and a spirit in the world. I'd like to believe that something in us goes on beyond this world and echoes into another. And on those days that I hold to anything in myself, it's the magic in the world that speaks to my soul. Certain spells and divinations echo in my heart, giving me strength as others draw strength from their own gods and holy books and words.

Most of the time, though, I can't give that any credence. Because something different speaks to everyone. Because it's all just feelings. Because no truly scientific evidence of anything has been found. Because there's a better explanation for all of life and death, and the scientist in me says there's nothing out there.

So, is it a war of feeling versus mind? Feelings are also an artifact of mind, after all. We're wired on some level to believe. But believing... What has it ever really done for us?

posted from Bloggeroid

Fifty Shades of Lame (warning: mild adult content ahead)

I got into yet another discussion last night on the Fifty Shades books. It started with a coworker being slightly judgmental about people giving books to their kids (at 17-18, which is a parenting judgment call, not ours as booksellers) and then about women in general reading the books. He didn't see how women could want equality in the modern world and them embrace submission on any level. After a short discussion, he did allow that he guessed the point was, in part, that the women had the choice to submit, which made it better.

Which brings us to Fifty Shades. Spoiler Alert: stop reading this blog if you plan to read the books and care deeply about the plot. Or, skip the read if you care more about women and having functioning brain cells. It's pretty awful on a literary level, at any rate.

OK, still with me? Good, then. Now, the problem with Fifty Shades - other than it reading like a bored 50something English housewife's fantasy fanfic of the life of a 20something Seattle college student - is that it's not just bad writing but bad BDSM. This is not the story of a woman who's outwardly strong yet craves submission to escape, or a girl who wants to be owned, or (heaven forbid!) a man who serves willingly at a master's or mistress's feet. This is the story of a young woman who wants no part of submission or the lifestyle, yet chooses to live it and be subjugated to a man's will in most aspects of her lifestyle down to her living situation and the car she drives just to please him and adapt to his admitted controlling nature. The relationship of Anastasia and Christian is closer to abusive than D/s on many levels.

And this novel is what is introducing newcomers to the lifestyle in droves and inspiring a whole generation of BDSM-themed novels. It has achieved cult status and spawned lines of board games, lingerie, and sex toys. There's a movie in the works, though issues with the cast have created delays. All this is just to say that if you're going to play around with something you read in a novel, please do your research. There are a lot of great (nonfiction) books and websites out there on the subject of safety, so play safely, OK?

And if you haven't read it, skip Fifty Shades and read something else on the subject. Even if the classics suffer from the same problems with respect to feminism, they aren't sins against literature.

posted from Bloggeroid