Down the stone steps

Depression is a nasty thing. It robs you of joy and leaves a bleak, hopeless feeling. Nothing matters, and everything seems pointless. Harry Potter's Dementors are a metaphor for crippling depression, taking away all the joy from the world, leaving only cold and eventually sucking the souls of their victims entirely. 

To me, depression has always seemed like being in a hole from which one cannot simply escape - maybe a prison or a dungeon is a better metaphor. A deep dungeon, which allows no daylight - only the memory that there is a sun somewhere out there, somehow making it worse for the prisoners.

Maybe the worst thing of all is that in this dungeon there are other prisoners - you know there are - and there are people standing above with large rings of keys trying to figure out which will free you from your imprisonment. Yet with depression, you are always somehow in solitary confinement no matter how you try to reach out or who's reaching out to you.

I don't mean to be totally black. I know there is sun somewhere. That there is a tunnel out, that laughter and joy still exist in the world. I've just misplaced mine, hopefully temporarily. 

The heart of the matter

I want to be honest and honorable in this forum. I want to put myself out there for the world to see, and to express myself fully and honestly as a person. Is it exhibitionist of me to want to do these things? Perhaps. However, it seems a greater vice to inhibit myself on the grounds that someone may judge me based on nothing but myself. Maybe I'd be judged as a less worthy employee, or parent, or human being, based on the words I type here, because that is the modern world we live in. Couldn't I also be judged for timidity, though? Isn't dithering a sign of weakness? 

So, this is me. I don't have wild parties, or drink heavily, or lead a jet-setting lifestyle. I'm sadly boring in many ways - I read news and do brainteasers for fun. I act sometimes, but I have not had a theater group in a while, so I am not currently active in theater. It's difficult when one's work hours are irregular. I do have my issues, which I'll post more about later. Some of my loved ones do, too, and I'll anonymize them as much as possible if I post about them, or I'll get permission, or both. 

This isn't going to be all deeply personal. Maybe you'll get a post from me on something that is personal and deeply felt one day, and on another, you'll get observations on Muppets. And Chris might post his feelings on Congress not defunding the NSA (or not). One way or another, it will be a journey. 

What are we teaching our children? (Part 1: Fraggle Rock edition)

Today, we were talking about adult subject matter, and for reasons that are but perhaps should not be related, the subject of Fraggle Rock came up. I started singing the theme song, which for those of you who don't get songs stick in your heads like I do, begins: "Dance your cares away/work is for another day..." implying that the Fraggles are more about fun than industry. The truth of this varies as we get to know our Fraggle friends, certainly, but by and large, I'd say it's an accurate description of Fraggle life - it's more about fun than work.

Now, before you think that this is a rant on teaching the value of work over play to children, I want you to consider the other inhabitants of Fraggle Rock, the Doozers. The Doozers are not only given screen time on the show, but the whole next verse of the theme song. "Work your cares away/dancing's for another day..." These miniscule, hardworking creatures slave away at elaborate constructions all the time while the Fraggles dance.

Now, if they're all happy with their lifestyles, so what? You ask. Well, maybe. But then, in addition to their steady diet of radishes, the Fraggles love to snack on the Doozers' buildings! Yes, "Doozer sticks" are among the carefree Fraggles' favorite foods, and the Fraggles are willing to snap them out of buildings as carelessly as we might tear the corner from a gingerbread house on Christmas.

Now suddenly what we have looks more like the story of the grasshopper and the ant as retold in "A Bug's Life." Of course the Fraggles are carefree and don't work. They take radishes from the Gorg garden and Doozer sticks from the Doozers. Meanwhile, everyone else around them works, from the trash heap to the Doozers to the Gorg.

Come to think of it, maybe the lessons Fraggle Rock taught are on the money. Work is a sucker's bet; be the one taking advantage of the worker and not the one slaving away, and you'll have a better time in life.

Demon Cat

It has been said that dogs have owners while cats have staff. Our kitten Jellybean certainly seems to think so. We are her staff, her teddy bears, her scratching posts, and her hunting targets. Unfortunately, though she is a beautiful, wild thing, she is also a demon in feline form. Her favorite place to lie is on my keyboard. Among her favorite activities is simply attacking me. She full on runs up and starts biting and scratching my arms (occasionally, she also bites my legs and face, but it is my arms and hands that look like I have taken up some sort of self-injurious cutting behavior), drawing blood in multiple places. We use a water spray bottle, but it sometimes seems to increase rather than decrease the behavior. 

The thing is, she can be a loving, cuddly kitten. Right now, she is curled up against my leg, purring. She likes to sleep on Chris. Also, she's funny. She loves to tear at paper, and lettuce leaves (she eats the latter, not the former). She likes strings and things with bells. I'm just wondering - is the other behavior just her being a kitten, or is it over the top? I'm really bloodied up, and Chris is ready to rehome her because she attacks me so violently. But if it's behavior she'll outgrow with a little training, I'm more than willing to keep plugging away. 

Queen of the DVR (No Longer)

So, a while back, we ditched our cable TV service. Mostly, it's been more pro than con: we save a lot of money (a slightly higher bill because we upgraded the cable internet, plus $15.98/month for Hulu Plus and Netflix, minus a huge chunk for cable TV, DVR, HD service, etc., has been a net savings of over $100/month), we spend less time vegetating in front of the TV without thinking about it (we might do it occasionally, but we're more mindful about it), and we've found some gems of older shows that we'd missed to catch up on that we're watching, separately or together as a couple, when we do want some TV time. Right now we're loving Breaking Bad and I'm liking The L Word. And I know I'm behind on the whole Orange is the New Black thing, but I'm going to rectify that ASAP. So, yeah, we have ourselves a Roku 2 and some spiffy streaming accounts and that should be enough for anyone, right?

Only... maybe not. I mean, there are some real upsides to doing it this way. All our TV is a la carte and on demand and works with my schedule, which is perfect. Here's the thing. I miss my shows. But I never had time to watch my shows when I had them. There were a lot of shows I wanted to watch and maybe 3-4 I did, so with cable, I had all kinds of a DVR backlog all the time. On the bright side, I'd then have four or five episodes of something to watch if I was in the mood for it on my day off, which was especially great when I had a Key and Peele marathon queued up. The only things that didn't get backed up more than an episode or two were King of the Nerds, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, and Inkmaster. 

Then again, those five shows are half the ones I'm sad about missing, anyway, and the other half are on premium channels I'd have to pay extra for. I'm looking at you, Starz, HBO, and Showtime, and you can consider this open notice that I'd consider paying for a premium service that enabled me to stream your content without locking it behind a cable gateway, but that I'm unwilling to subscribe to a cable service to access your services and will be waiting for DVD access to the same content.

Fifty shades of green

It's funny, but we use "green" to refer to people when we mean different things. For one, people are green when they're sick. Yesterday, I started out more of a pink sick, flushed and feverish, but I guess I was greenish by day's end. I was definitely pale, and yellow and nauseous if not all the way to green. I had to leave work in the morning, slept five hours yesterday and another twelve last night.

People are also green when they are inexperienced or new at something. There are lots of trainees at work who are a bit green, and considering how long it's been since I picked up a keyboard, I'm a green programmer, too. So that seems to be a theme right now. Hang in there, guys! We'll learn, and it will be awesome!

People are also green when they're envious of others. I try not to live there. But sometimes, I think, we all get it, and deal in different ways. We get competitive, or we try to "keep up with the Joneses" - our consumer economy has long depended on our small envies. Still, when larger ones rear their ugly heads, we need to deal with them without throwing ourselves into debt or doing other things outside our own best interests because friends and rivals seem better off.

We apply "green" to people for different reasons, and no one really enjoys being green for long no matter which green we're talking about.
However, taking care of yourself correctly cures all these green ills. If you're sick, rest and fluids are key (consult your doctor, this does not construe actual medical advice but is Mom's best folk wisdom on the matter, etc.). If you're new, work hard on learning and gaining experience, and allow rest breaks to focus on other things. If you're jealous, try to focus on what's going well for you, not what you need and want but don't or can't have. That way lies madness, debt, second jobs, and more madness.

Allergies

So, we have a young kitten named Jellybean. She's about twelve or thirteen weeks old, and we had her spayed today. Poor Jellybean is crated for the night so she doesn't get hurt while she's still groggy from the anesthesia. She's still too groggy to stand straight, and I'm a little surprised they sent her home - when I called the vet at first, they said they wouldn't if she was still very groggy. I guess she must have been very sedated indeed the first time I called to check on her.

Anyhow, we went to the store once I got home from work this evening, and I must have had a terrible allergic reaction to something. Somewhere near the marshmallows and gluten free things, I started to get stuffed up, and by the time we got to the snack food, I was hardly breathing. We decided I needed allergy pills and went to that aisle instead. Chris ripped open a bottle and got me three out and I crunched the darned things because I needed them to work quickly (note to everyone: crunched/chewed diphenhydramine not only tastes like you'd expect but also burns like fire in your probably already-swollen throat).

The only thing I know I react to like that is cinnamon, and I didn't smell any. So now I'm all hopped up on generic pink allergy pills, and I'm not even 100% sure what triggered the reaction. Well, here's hoping it's not an entirely new allergy.

           Hello everybody. I'm Chris the male part of this dynamic duo. As Jack stated this really isn't the beginning, our beginning maybe, but the middle of our story. I'm a pretty laid back person who likes to read, kayak, and get the most out of the time I have left on this big little world. I find as I get older that aging is not for the weak. I have tried to make some small lifestyle changes to hopefully get back on track. I have changed my diet, restarted going to the gym, and generally trying to enjoy life. Unfortunately I am also a minor foodie so that doesn't help with the fitness aspect.

        In this blog we might cover a whole range of subjects but we shouldn't ramble too badly. I may tend to travel down side roads in my rants but it should eventually come back to the main subject. We hope that you will join us as we share with you our ideas both the ups and downs.

First Post

Greetings! I'm Jack, the female half of this duo. This is not really the beginning, but as it's difficult to start in the middle, it's a beginning. I'm a big believer in learning everything I can in life and love, though sometimes I start more projects than I finish. I figure that I come out ahead if I learn something in the doing.

Right now, together, we're working on fitness, blogging (obviously), and a programming project, and watching Breaking Bad from the beginning (somehow I missed out on this all this time!). Separately, I'm reading Mistborn and trying to beat level 147 of Candy Crush Saga (damn you, Candy Crush Saga). Work, housework, and the gym (most weeks... some weeks we fall off the train a little) take up most of the time, honestly.

I could start an "Adventures in Bookselling" blog... but I think that one would have to be anonymous. I don't speak for anyone but me. Even Chris. So, speaking of...